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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.

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• (281): View more from Texas

  Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s

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• (561): View more from Florida

  The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.

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• (831): View more from California

  Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.

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• (707): View more from California

  starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...

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