Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize