Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
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She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
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Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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