She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
