Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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