When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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