i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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