im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
