I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
