So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Randomize
