He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
3pm strippers are depressing
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize