Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
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