I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
