that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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