dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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