Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i wish my penis had a tongue
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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