the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I think people are normalizing furries
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
