I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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