oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
