Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
