Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
