need another drink. this is the easiest way
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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