I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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