I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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