i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
