Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.