fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?