There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.