I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.