YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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