I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
