My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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