You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
