He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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