I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Randomize
