I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
