Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
