he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
