Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
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Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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