**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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