My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
