Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
