Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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