I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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