I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
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