Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
