also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
