when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Such a big mess for such a small penis
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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