Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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