she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Did you pee in the oven last night??
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
