what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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