Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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