I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
