That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
