yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
