from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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