real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
