Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
