soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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