Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
