How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
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