You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
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