brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Randomize
