you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
