I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
