you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
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