He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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