Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
