Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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